Sunday, February 26, 2012

I'm So Inconsistent

I guess you know that an apology is coming. I'm sorry for never writing and I'm sorry for my posts being so short and boring when I do write. I do this thing where I tell Megan and Lindsay all my stories and then I forget to put them on here too. Like all of my dumb movie stories and all of my dumb school stories and all of my dumb work stories. And I guess I could share some of those stories with you.  
Work is the same, which means it's annoying. Basically, I want to kill some of the people I work with and some of the regular people who stroll on through my line. I've got maybe five or seven people who ALWAYS come through my line.  Like this older couple where the wife half scares me. I think she's either going to have a panic attack or fall apart right in front of me. She shivers all the damn time. Like she's cold. But the store's pretty toasty and she's not that old, so I don't know why she's chilly. And it's not a neurological thing either. I can sure as shit tell the difference between "Brr, it's cold." shivers and "I'm old and shake all the time" shivers...shakes. Because shakes and shivers are very, very different things. Anyway, this woman irritates me, A, because she shakes like a chihuahua, and B, because she always has coffee and she clutches the cup like it's her goddamn life line. For all I know, she could be a coffee vampire and it is literally her fuel (there have been weirder vampire stories guys. don't even get me started about "the ketchup vampires". just don't) but I really don't think that's it. But she grips this coffee cup like it's sapphires and gold and she holds it right up under her face and it's weird!! I wish you could see me right now because I'm actually trying to mimic what she does so I can better describe it to you, but I can't!! Either way, it annoys the hell out of me. I don't know why. It's just that she bugs me to the point of no return. And if that makes me a horrible person, so be it.
like this, but less "Elf", more shivery chihuahua
and like this, but less hipster, more shivery chihuahua
My friend Kate's last day at work is Thursday. She's got a really crazy semester and I don't blame her for quitting. But I'm going to miss her very, very much.
Another person who comes through my line every single time is this old man who is so old, I don't even think he's real. It just seems impossible to me that he's so old...looking. Okay, he looks like the crypt keeper. Not as terrifying, but just as old and uncomfortable. I can't handle it. Also, this pair of twin sisters. I don't know why they always come in together. Maybe they live together? But what kind of siblings do that? Maybe I'd get an apartment with Sadie for a few years eventually probably never in a billion years. But to be twins and live together? You've already spent your ENTIRE LIVES together! You were at each others moment of conception! Isn't it time for you to spend some time apart? I don't know. 
Twins are weird, man. They look the same. They sound the same. Sometimes they are really exactly the same, down to their mannerisms and likes and dislikes. Other times, not so much. Sometimes the twins look nothing alike. I graduated with a couple of sets of twins. Both fraternal. One was a brother and sister and the other set was two sisters. Here's where I sound awful. Of the girl twins, there was the pretty one and the not pretty one. That's how I refer to them. It's mean of me and it's horrible, and I'll be going to hell for it, but their attitudes were shit so they deserve it. But if I was part of a twin duo, and my twin and I looked nothing alike... I wouldn't call us twins. I'd say that we were siblings. That's all. A twin is a mirror image, a duo, a double. If you aren't a double of someone, you can't be a twin. That's my logic. Also, twins are creepy. They can read each others' minds and finish each others' sentences and they talk at the same time and then they come into your room when you're asleep and eat your soul!
So I went to bed last night at a semi-normal time and then I woke up and that was...difficult. Sleeping is too much fun sometimes. Like when you have the most bizarre dreams ever, including dreams about Halloween themed forest mazes with glow in the dark cats and scary ladies who try to lure you into their lairs. Or dreams about some weird facility where girls are strapped to tables, being cut on and tortured, but they heal almost immediately. But when one of the girls starts talking about her family, telling her captives that she let them take her to save her sister, she gets dropped through a hole in the floor, revealing a basement-type place where there are rows and rows of these chairs hanging from the ceiling. Like wooden, dining room chairs, with more blindfolded girls strapped into them. And one of the girls is like, "Why would you start talking? Why would you do that?" And the first girl is still very shaken from the fall and the other girl says, "You should have stayed quiet. It's not like it hurts. They only send us down here. I just hope my sister is smarter than you." And then the first girl recognizes that it's her sister and then I rolled over and the dream ended. It was a pretty cohesive dream, wouldn't you say? It was scarier and grittier and looked and felt more like a horror movie than I just described, but it's morning time and I can't really do anything well right now.
I also had a dream that it was, like, three in the morning and I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water when Lindsay comes out of her room, all in winter gear like, "Let's go!" And I'm in my jammies, looking at her like she's crazy. "Go where?" say I. "Well, I brought you a car, Rach. Let's go see what everyone's so worried about." And dream me was like, "Oh but it's snowing out." And sleeping me was like, "What the eff is going on here?" And as we were leaving the apartment, my alarm went off. So I hit snooze and slept for another hour!! Another hour in which I dreamed that me, Meredith, and Benedict Cumberbatch worked in a museum and all of the paintings started whispering all of these awful things and secrets about their lives before they were painted and it was just really scary. We were all afraid of losing our minds so we tried to ignore them and drown them out, but their voices just kept coming and Meredith and I were crying and we couldn't find Benedict and it was scary. So when my alarm went off again, I decided to stay awake.  
 I don't know why my dreams have been so weird lately. They've been crazy for about a week now. There was one on Tuesday night where I was being kidnapped and I was being driven up the North Shore and then I turned into a tree. So I panicked, then calmed down and tried to talk myself through this ridiculous tree transformation like, "Okay, if I just turned into a tree, I just have to do everything opposite of what I did before turning into a tree." Dream logic.
In dreams, that makes sense.
My parents just skyped me. It was barely eight o clock in the morning and they skyped me. Why are they awake? Why am I awake? I hate being awake. Oh hey, my coffee's done.
So last night was the beginning of this enormous snow storm. Apparently, it's supposed to go through all of today and into tomorrow. I'm excited but at the same time, not. I don't know. I think I'm more upset that the snow is coming now, rather than in November/December/January when it was supposed to be here. But it's late and everyone's all panicky like OH MY GOD SNOW. I just think that if you're going to worry about every "big" snowfall, move out of the upper midwest. 
I need this coffee mug.
The Walking Dead is on tonight!! I'm so excited. So far, I'm liking the rest of season two. Andrea's not talking as much, which is awesome, and Shane is continuing to spiral, which isn't awesome, but it provides some stellar conflicts of interest within the group. Daryl and Carol continue to make me an emotional wreck. And Rick is starting to bug me. He (SPOILERS like you guys care) basically almost killed himself, Glenn, and Hershel by trying to save this kid who impaled his leg on a wrought iron fence.  I'm sorry, but if I was in that situation, with two of my friends and allies, against another group of survivors who are shooting at us, with zombies encroaching, I'd shoot the guy from the other team who impaled himself and leave with my friends. At least he wouldn't be eaten alive. But no. Rick Grimes is just so righteous, he has to save everyone and bring them to base camp and jeopardize everything his group has going for them.  EVERY TIME. 
Another dream I had a while ago was that I was a part of a zombie apocalypse survival group and Opie and Chibs from SOA were there, and Zoe from Firefly and a bunch of other people and it was scary and cool at the same time. And we had holed up in an IKEA so that was nice.
I've started watching "Being Human." The BBC version, so you know, the better version. I've seen the Syfy adaptation and it's not that good. The werewolf in the American one is slightly better looking, but that's about it. The British one is miles better and that's what's what. I'm basically obsessed now. I love this show. I love the whole cast...but mostly Aidan Turner. Surprise.
Off to go get ready for work. But right now, a paycheck doesn't seem like very good motivation.

Monday, February 20, 2012


I make damn good sandwiches. Just sayin'. I'm also going to just say that my Renaissance Drama is my least favorite class this semester. It's so frustrating. The professor's frustrating, the people in the class with me are frustrating, the plays we're reading are frustrating, and I just feel like I'm such an underwhelming student. Everyone else is able to read these plays, no problem. Everyone else is coming up with all of these wonderful paper topics. I just don't reach as far as them, I guess. When the professor asks the class questions, rhetorical or not, I listen. I rarely ever have something to say mostly because I learned my lesson in the first two weeks of class, that lesson being, "Let the people who have taken a billion theater and Shakespeare courses already do the majority of the talking." It's been working well so far. I've learned a lot and it's all coming to me in a language that I can understand, not teacher jargon. But today, prof asks for us to answer some rhetorical "what do you think..." question and the entire room just sat. I was thinking of a way to pull my thoughts into an actual answer when he paces over, stands right in front of me and says, "Other Rachel. What do you think?"
That just about pushed me over the proverbial edge. Yes, there are two Rachels in the class, but there was no real need to call me "other" Rachel while standing right in fucking front of me. Fuck that. So I said, "I'm thinking." in the sharpest tone I could muster while remaining semi-civil. And he walked off and decided to ask his favorite student Amanda or whatever. Amanda with her stupid coffee mug. Bitch. 
Augh. Other Rachel my ass. I am THE Rachel.
So then we talked about the devil and selling your soul and all the shit we read about in "Doctor Faustus". I actually liked this play. Because it was short. That's kind of it.
Last night, I had a really bizarre series of dreams. There was one where my family and I were back in Cancun, Mexico and we were just hanging out by the pool and it was just raining. Like drizzling and we were just chillin' under our beach umbrellas, sippin' tropical dranks, and enjoying our vacation. Like, WTF? And then I dreamed that I was on Ellen and she did that thing where she scared the hell out of me and I started crying and everyone was laughing at me and then the stage set lit on fire and everyone freaked out and ran away and then Ellen came after me with a chainsaw. Where she got a chainsaw from, I have no clue. And then I remember we were driving though this arctic landscape and there were bears everywhere. Like polar bears and pandas and black bears and grizzly bears and it was the coolest thing I've ever seen and...I just really like bears.

The more I rewatch "Sons of Anarchy", the more obsessed I get with Maggie Siff's hair. The girl has fantastic hair and I want it. I want to braid it. And then I want its equivalent on my head. Not creepy.
 So then I went to work and it was really fucking boring. There was nobody in the all. Maybe it got busy around...6 o clock, but that's when it always gets busy. So I got to go home a half hour early. And then I ate some shitty mac and cheese, ready some "Ulysses", and drew a picture. "Ulysses" by the way...DON'T EVER READ IT. I hate it. We only had to read maybe...80 pages for tomorrow's class, but I can't figure the damn thing out! Court and I were texting each other whilst reading it and we were completely lost! It's good...but it's so unacceptable.
While walking to work, I have my iPod going and suddenly, it starts playing this song that I forgot I had synced to it. And it's a hilarious song. And while I'm walking along, I just started smiling and I think I actually giggled at some point. I must have looked like a fucking psychopath, just walking along, grinning like a hyena. "Um, police? There's this psychopath grooving along my street, smiling like a motherfucker. What should I do?" That call and several others were made to the Duluth Police. I don't know. So then I showed Megan the song and she seemed amused.

I have a test tomorrow in Women Writers. It's open book and open note, I just don't know how I feel about it. I haven't really missed anything, I've been reading, I just don't feel like I know enough to take a test. Like we haven't looked at enough stuff to form a test from, you know? 
Oh also, I'm going to be a part of this year's production of "Vagina Monologues" at my school. Basically, I read a thing with three or four other girls and according to the script, I'm the first lines and the final monologue at the end of our piece. Eff. I have to be the lasting impression. We'll see how this goes!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Comfy Sweatshirt

I'm tempted to swear my Medora, ND sweatshirt all the time. It's the comfiest thing, I kid you not. It's even comfier when you're sick as a dog and you don't want to do anything ever. That's right. I'm sick. And not my usual "throw my guts up" sick, where I have a meaningful relationship with the toilet and then it's over with and I feel better. At some point at work on Tuesday night, I contracted a strain of  the death sniffles partnered with a runny nose that won't fucking stop for anything. I hate it. So basically, I laid in bed this morning, hating my life, until 9:20 when I said to myself, "Rachel. Seriously. Look decent. It's not that hard." So I dragged myself from my wonderful flannel sheets and threw on some yoga pants and my treasured Medora sweatshirt, threw my hair in a pony tail and left for class. I was a picture of beauty, let me tell you. And then class sucked. Except for when I got my B.S. response paper which had a smiley face on it and got a 17 out of 20...which our professor calls a B which I am totally fine with. But I was given the paper at the end of class. And we had a very interesting session today.
Firstly, let me say that our professor is weird. Like really weird. But funny and very smart, so I guess he's qualified and he's fun to listen to sometimes. But he's got these odd little quirks about him that just annoy the hell out of me. For instance, he never really calls on people to speak in class. He kind of just loudly mumbles at people. Like someone raises their hand and he sees, quickly finishes the point he's making and then goes, "Ah yes, Amweoriewndfgsgghjjgc." And then we just know who he's talking to. That's a shitty explanation. One of these days, I'm going to record it. And then you'll all know what's up. He also paces like a motherfucker but so does every professor.
And here's something that just happens to me all the time, no matter what. At the end of class when he was handing back papers, he looks right in my face and calls me "Chelsea." It just happened. And I'm so used to it by now, from having teachers and whatever from middle school and high school call me Chelsea by mistake, I just said, "My name's Rachel, but if that's my paper, whatever." And he apologizes and mumble-yells a little bit and I left but I was just...ugh, it's frustrating. It's my last name that fucks people up. And it's extra funny because Brandon just told me that he saw me a few times yesterday in passing and called me Chelsea every time. It's annoying, but it's really no big deal.
So I just made the best frosting of all time. I finally found a legitimate recipe for good frosting and I blew my own mind when it was finished. I was able to frost that red velvet cake and I didn't have to buy some crappy Pillsbury butter-cream frosting. I am AMAZING.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

End of Valentines Day

It is almost February fifteenth and Valentines Day is practically over. I had a pretty solid day. Tuesdays. They're awesome. Class was boring as hell, but I was able to deliver some Valentines to some people and I think they really enjoyed them and I'm glad. I put a lot of work (not really) into those brownies (from a box), guys. Don't question my (underachiever) baking skills. But I made a pan of brownies and they are fantastic and then I made a red velvet cake...but I haven't eaten any of it yet 'cause I have yet to frost it. I was a dumb butt and didn't buy frosting when I got the cake mix so I tried, like, a thousand different ways to make frosting from powdered sugar 'cause we have a TON of powdered sugar and NOTHING WORKED! I was pissed! But the cake should still be good by tomorrow night, so I'll get some frosting from work and officially make finish this cake. And then eat it.
Lindsay is the coolest person ever. We've been talking, like, nonstop about Sons of Anarchy and other stuff...but mostly Sons and she's funny as hell and jumps out at me randomly to scare the shit out of me. It usually works and I usually hyperventilate a little but whatevs. It's friendship.
My mom came by this morning to give me a rose and a card and some M&Ms. I love my mom. She's awesome. I still have to give her and my dad their valentine cards. I still need to write in them too. What do you write in a valentines day card? "I love you" would work, but the rest of the card says that already. I want to just write my name in there but that's so lame. "I love you so much and I can't even begin to tell you blah blah blah, you do so much for me and I could never thank you enough Love love love..." I'd write something like that....Just kidding, no, I wouldn't. I hate writing in cards. So why the eff did I get my parents cards at all?! I seriously have no idea.

Saturday, February 11, 2012


Joss Whedon is continuing to ruin my life. Not only are :Firefly" and "Serenity" some of my favorite things in the whole gorram world, now his show "Dollhouse" is my new favorite. Where does all his smart come from? Where does he pull all of these crazy ideas from? What goes on in that head of Joss Whedon's?! Augh! it's so frustrating! Also because he recycles actors...okay, "recycles" sounds a little cold, but he recasts actors from "Firefly" into his other works. Alan Tudyk and Summer Glau are both in "Dollhouse" and they both freak me out. Just very, very different characters from Wash and River. But they're so good! So unappreciated actors beyond the Whedonverse. I don't even know. Also, I keep calling Eliza Dushku "Elija". 
I just got back from work and I am exhausted. Also, I have Beyonce stuck in my head, so that's nice... no really, it's okay. But I have homework and I must clean and blah blah blah. You know. All the stuff I say I have to do but go to sleep before doing any of it... All the usual stuff. I wrote a paper in record time this past week though. A four page argumentative essay about Yeats (blegh) in two and a half hours. I call that a success. I just hope the professor thinks it's as good as I do. I dunno. He's bugging me lately. He's so uppity, it's frustrating. And other people in the class are just getting on my nerves and I wish they weren't because I like them a lot but they're just relentless...and they don't even know what they're doing. It makes me angry just to sit down in class and have them there, but I really can't be that bitch who says, "yeah you guys are doing this, that and the other thing, and it's making me really upset. Could you just stop going about your normal routine?" I've been the idiot who shared those feelings with people I thought were my friends before and it did not go well. So I've been keeping my mouth shut for weeks and it's just bubbling up and I'm worried for when it all boils over and what will happen to this friendship or whatever. I don't know. I'm just emotional. But that's not new. But one of them keeps asking if I'm okay because it's obvious that I'm mopey because I'm a mopey kind of person! It's so irritating to have her ask me though! I can't just be like, "No. I'm not okay because your personality that you can't really do anything about is driving me to drink." AUGH!!!
The guys that live above us are having a jam session again. 
Last night, Megan and I were so bored! It was disgusting. I seriously kept rolling back into her room like, "Megan, what am I gonna do?! I'm so bored!" And she was like, "Me too!!" And it was only like 7:30 and we felt like the worst college students ever because we weren't out at some shitty party in some guys' shitty house. So we decided to make cinnamon buns (they were kind of icky... i dunno) and watch "The Blair Witch Project" which I have owned for maybe a year and a half and I had never watched until last night. I was scared...and then I wasn't because it was kind of boring. Megan said that the best part about "the Blair Witch Project" is that you don't have to watch it to know what's going on. Completely accurate statement. I played Tiny Wings almost the entire time. And then I had to watch the part with the weird stick people in the trees and the part where they find the bundle of their friend's bloody body parts and then I had to watch the end with the house. But that was it. And it wasn't really scary...but then I had to watch Boondock Saints to make myself less scared. Also because I'm obsessed but you already knew that.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Tuesdays Are Awesome

Tuesdays are apparently the day of the week that corresponds with Aries. Tuesdays are ruled by Mars according to several astrology and astronomy websites and Aries is a Mars sign. That explains why today was pretty cool. I had look good-feel good going for me, I had a decent morning, I went home between classes and relaxed a little bit, I had a delicious Snapple beverage... Today was good! And then I went to Ireland class and I learned a whole lot. For example, the girl who I had previously thought to have been a huge bitch is actually kind of funny. But she's still really brash. But she's also very smart and that can be super helpful when you're that one person who didn't read as in depth as everyone else I also learned that this one guy who I thought was pretty chill is actually the most annoying thing ever. All he did in our small group was make stupid comments and references that really had no point. At least when I reference movies and shit, I make sure it pertains to what's going on. But this guy pulling out a "Mean Girls" quote in the middle of a discussion about why Joyce was so intent on making his readers think just made no sense to anyone. Also his breath was just OFFENSIVE. I was so close to just offering the bastard some gum. Really. And after class, Court and I walked to Caribou Coffee, took them up on their "all medium drinks for $2" coupon, and talked about a whole bunch of funny stuff. Today was pretty good.
Except my other two classes today... Human Geography was just dull today. Nothing funny was said, which was odd, and none of my professor's side stories were boring and the dude I was sitting next to was really annoying because he kept sighing. Not just breathing loudly once in a while, but like...every two minutes: "HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH......"  I was like, "You got somewhere better to be? By all means, get the fuck away from me." I don't need to deal with that B.S. at 9 AM.
Last night, I dreamed that Sean Patrick Flanery and I got married and then had wild, fantastic sex, signaling to me that I am a complete psycho.
Psycho. That's me. Hi.
I wore my fabulous polar bear in a snowstorm shirt today!! I wore it with my brand new cardigan and leggings and I was so comfy, it made today that much better. Um...I had lunch with Kayleen, meaning that we went and bought food and brought it back to where Monica and Biney were and then ate and then went to class.
Oh dude. Women Writers today was just brutal as hell. I usually don't mind my professor at all, but today I realized what's irritating about him. He tells us directions for our group work or group projects or whatever in the most vague ways. No one knows what he really wants from us, even after he clarifies. It feels like he thinks we're all friends and we should know what he's expecting. It's only week four of the semester. We've only had seven sessions of this class, we don't know how you work yet. But I talked to the girls in my group and we figured it all out and then we talked about "American Horror Story" and that was awesome!! Also there's this girl in my class/group who has the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen in my life. Just this almost teal, bright blue color and her eyes are huge! Just dreamy peepers. Also she's kind of a dork. Love it.
So in the same class, we broke out of our groups and he just started talking shop as usual and then he mentioned multiple-protagonist plots or something like that. It's like a story or show where there's no real main character or a group of people, working for the same thing or towards the same goal, is the focus. My first thought was "The Walking Dead" and as soon as I thought of it, he said, "When I was making the outline for the course, I was watching "The Walking Dead"...." and I was sitting in my seat like, "AAAAAH!!! YES!" So that was kind of cool. But then he asked the rest of us for some other titles, books or tv shows or movies, that were like this. Some girl said "Scooby Doo" kind of because even though the show is named after the dog, we get a group of people working to solve the mystery and even though they split up, we get equal coverage of all of them. It was a solid suggestion. I suggested "Sons of Anarchy" and here's where my day got pretty good.
I said, "Sons of Anarchy" and as soon as I said it, this girl turns around and looks at me with this stink-eye glare expression going on. So my prof asked me to explain and I said something like, "Sons of Anarchy has a huge cast that focuses on maybe a dozen or so central characters who are in this motorcycle club and they're all working to make their family, the club essentially, safe and stable and make sure that they're set for life." Solid answer/explanation right? Yes. It is. And up shoots the hand of Stink-Eyed Bitch and she says, "I disagree. There are rival groups and clubs that are working to take out the M.C." all smug and whatnot. Firstly, what does this bitch have against me? I've never seen her in my life (it's not that one crazy girl who thought she knew me), and I have never said a word to her. Whatever. Not even waiting for the professor to say anything, I say, "Yes, but those groups are also trying to make themselves stable and make sure they have money to keep themselves going because the last thing they want to do, Sons, Mayans, Grim Bastards, Niners, is give up territory or give up their cuts and rockers." And she just turns around and says nothing.
So my professor morphs in and says, "I've never seen Sons of's about motorcycle gangs?" And I basically spent ten minutes explaining the show which was pretty much the high point of my day.
What the fuck am I listening to? God, it's weird. Ew.

Tonight is the two hour premier of "The River" which is supposed to be super cool. It's the same director as "Paranormal Activity" and Spielberg is involved. I dunno. But Megan and I are going to watch it and I really hope it becomes the new Tuesday night tradition. "SOA" and "American Horror Story" used to be the Tuesday night tradition, but they're over til the fall. Btw, SOA is going for six seasons and I'm stoked. 
I obtained the soundtrack for "The Aristocats" and I have decided that some of my top favorite Disney characters have been voiced by Phil Harris, this singer, jazz musician, comedian, actor in the early 1900s! So awesome.
Phil Harris, Baloo, Thomas O'Malley, and Little John
 I love Disney, but I've said that a billion times.
Aaaugh!! "The Walking Dead" comes back in FOUR DAYS!! I'm so excited! This mid-season hiatus thing was really not good for me. I've been stressing out! Where is there to go after Sophia?! ¡No se! (Spanish break!) Es muy emocional y estoy muy estresada. No esta bien. See? I remembered all that Spanish off the top of my dome. ¡OlĂ©!
Anyway, "TWD" comes back soon and I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but the stupid campus cable package doesn't include AMC which is the channel that "TWD" is on!! So stupid! So my plan is to somehow get to my family's house to watch the mid-season premier of one of my fave shows ever. Also, this morning, I discovered that has produced "The Walking Dead" valentines. That's so stellar. They're actually pretty funny too. Check 'em.
Remember a while ago when I talked about that annoying sighing guy in Human Geography? Well he wasn't the only obnoxious part of that class. I can't believe I forgot about the crazy bitch who sat behind me, telling her friend all about the weird crazy sex that she and this dude she met at a party had. Yeah. That actually happened. So she basically spent 45 minutes whispering to her bestie about how she met this guy at a party and then they were both super wasted and then she had to go throw up and so she found the bathroom and he kind of stumbled in there, found her practically dying over the toilet and he was chivalrous enough (or totally weird) to hold her hair back and rub her back until she was feeling a little better. Okay, that's kind of sweet I guess. I supposed I'd be a little inclined to like the total stranger who showed such kindness to me when I was hugging the porcelain. So I'm totally eavesdropping on this story like a douchebag and then she says, "And then he and I talked for a while and then he totally just started making out with me and then we had sex in the bathtub." I tried so hard not to laugh. I just thought that it was the most hysterical way to present that information. "Yeah, we chatted for a bit, he told me that his favorite color was green and I told him about my pet hamster, Wallace, and then we boned in the tub. NBD, guys." But then she told her friend that they finished up and he took her into one of the bedrooms and I guess they fucked for like four hours. She even sounded shocked by her own recanting of the events. She went into way too much detail ("So then he ____ with his ____ and my _______ was just like _____..." and "And I totally thought he was done for but then he went back and turned me over and started _______________..." etc. etc. etc.) and I started to get uncomfortable and I was sitting there, wondering how her friend was so comfortable hearing this and how the hell this girl decided that a full lecture hall in the middle of class was the optimal time and place to tell this story. I just heard way too much today. I learned a lot...but I was also very uncomfortable.
I basically ran away from class. I can't believe I forgot about that story until just now! Maybe if I had remembered, I would have been funnier today. Whatevs.
new fave drink!
Goodnight <3